RawCode

I have recently taken up chess again. I am finding it to be quite fun, but it also fills me with apprehension and doubt. When I log into my Gmail account and find some Move Notification emails from RedHotPawn, the first feeling I have is doubt. I have no idea why since it is just a casual game between friends (or internet strangers) and neither has anything to gain from the virtual conflict.

Before I log in to check on the reported move, I find myself running through the game, trying to think if there was something I overlooked. A weed growing in a crack of my plan if you will. Once logged in,All the emotion I felt just melts away and are replaced with move analysis, plans, and counters. It is quite odd.

I find myself having those feelings before other games too. In a multiplayer RTS game like Dawn of War, I go through that entire process before the game. Once in the game, again all the emotion drains away and is replaced with mechanical movements, plans, and defense. Could it be a coping mechanism when I am placed under stress? Or am I just afraid of getting beat down?

Filed by RawCode at 5:15 am under Banter
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